Stupid Mario Bros: Season 4 - The Calm before the Darkness
by Rainbow Magic Girl
Summary: Based off the Youtube Series Stupid Mario Bros (Season 4): After being tricked into destroying their power source, Mario and his friends have had to adjust to 'normal' life. But jealousy and a box of chocolates will result in owing Solid Snake 10,000 dollars. How will Mario deal with this as well as the mysterious 'Trifecta? Find out in Season 4 of Stupid Mario Brothers!
1. Death is like a box of chocolates

Stupid Mario Bros: Season 4

Episode 46 – Death is like a box of chocolates part 1

Author's note: Decided to do things in order concerning my plot(s), which begins with season 4. There will be humour, fourth wall breaking, battles and extras. I don't own StMB and I suggest not reading this if you haven't seen this YouTube show before.

**Warning: If you haven't seen episodes 1-45, the movie Act 1 and Act 2, Operation Blind Storm and The Interactive Adventure, you might be a little confused.**

"Therefore, I strongly suggest that-"

"Oh, just play the episode buddy; no one cares about that crap!" Snapped a furious Wario, walking up to Richie.

"But Wario-"

"But nothing. I've been waiting a long time for episode 46. It's been like two years."

"Yes, but if they haven't seen the movie and the interactive –" started Richie.

Wario grabbed Richie's shoulder.

"Look," he said, pointing towards the screen, "you think there are people out there, who are watching us right now, who _haven't _seen the movie?!" asked Wario.

"It's possible; newcomers to the series perhaps?" shrugged Richie.

"Perhaps you should die. Newcomers my butt. This is for the fans!" hissed Wario.

"Fine; play the episode!"

"Thank YOU!"

"His mother was an ox..."

"WHAT?"

-xxxxx-

It was a normal day for Mario as he walked over to the mail box. He got the letters out and frowned at the top one, mainly because of the insult.

_To the fat ass in the red suit and I don't mean Santa Claus._

"Hmph! Another stupid letter from-a Bowser." He muttered. He had hoped that Bowser would have learned his lesson, but apparently not. Oh well, he couldn't do much anyway

"WAH HA HA HA!"

Mario looked up to see his rival Wario.

"This time Mario, it will be game over... for you!"

Mario rolled his eyes.

"As if. How many times _must _we go through this Wario? You can't beat me. You'll only get yourself hurt again."

"No Mario, this time it will be you who be hurt by the awesome power of my farts."

"Your farts?!" exclaimed Mario, "Ew, that's so gross; nobody likes that move!"

"But it's the one I do best!" protested Wario.

"Really? For all your years as a brawler, farting is the best you can do?"

"I was the National Gold Mushroom Fart champion when I was twelve." Said Wario, looking very proud,

"How do you do it?" asked Mario.

"Well, I push reaaaaaalllllllyyyy hard and then..."

"No, I mean, how CAN you do it? Don't you want to strive to do better moves?" asked Mario, looking at his rival.

"Well, I haven't _strived _for anything since my search for a long sleeved yellow shirt." Replied Wario, tugging at his sleeve.

"Really? Well it's no wonder you can't get Mona to be more serious about your relationship." Taunted Mario.

"How dare you bring Mona into this!" hissed Wario, pointing an accusing finger at Mario.

"Does that make you mad?"

"Yes!"

"Good, then let's fight!"

Wario swung at Mario, who jumped back and punched Wario in the stomach. Wario counterattacked with a smack to the head and jumped back.

Annoyed, Mario formed a fireball and aimed it at Wario, then shot seven more. Wario started running, dodging all the fireballs. Mario shot two more, and then started to pursue Wario, shooting out a couple more fireballs.

After running along the very long road, Wario stopped flailing his arms about, turned, and shot a yellow fireball at Mario. Mario dodged and aimed a red one back at him, which Wario, again, dodged.

Mario slumped.

_Getting old for this..._

Wario turned his hat around and threw eight fireballs in rapid succession. Mario ducked, dodged and jumped over all of them.

"BRRRRRRRRRGH!"

"..."

Wario grinned.

"Just like old times, eh Mario?"

"Indeed. But lets give the fireballs a rest, and fight with our fists." Suggested Mario.

"Agreed."

They both walked up to each other. Wario headbutted Mario, who retaliated in the same fashion. As Wario was thrown back, Mario punched his head and then his stomach. As Wario was doubled over, Mario drew back his fist. It seemed like certain victory, until Wario turned around and farted.

PFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF FFT!

"ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGH HHHHHH!" Screamed Mario.

PFFFFFFFFFFT! PFFFT!

"Ahh..." sighed Wario in contentment.

Mario wafted the stench away, only to have Wario waft it back.

"That's right, plumber, smell my dominance."

With that, he stood up and ran off.

"Hey, come back here!" yelled Mario, determined not to lose the battle.

He chased his friend back to his garage, watching as Wario flailed his arms about.

"Spam! Spam! Spam! Spam! spam!" shrieked Wario, running up to the garage door and banging on it.

As Mario approached, he took out his red beam sword and ignited it, pointing it at Wario's neck.

"You are beaten, Wario," Mario said triumphantly, "don't make this more complicated than it needs to be."

"More complicated like what? Oh, like THIS?!" retorted Wario, igniting his own beam sword and knocking Mario's away.

"Hey!"

Wario pointed his beam sword at Mario's neck, before a look of confusion crossed his face.

"So why do we fight with lightsab- err, I mean Beam Swords?" asked Wario, correcting himself.

"I don't know; they use them in Super Smash Brothers." Replied Mario.

"And...Why are we fighting?" asked Wario. After all the fighting and randomness, the two heroes had forgotten the reason they were fighting.

"You know, I can't remember." Mario said.

Then he started laughing, and Wario started laughing as well. They walked to each other and threw their arms around each other. Then Wario abruptly stopped.

"Hey wait, didn't we lose our powers?"

"Huh?"

-xxxxx-

Mario sat bolt upright in bed, panting heavily and clutching his head.

He got up and started to get dressed, giving a recap to the viewers.

"_It's now been almost a year since we all lost our powers. The evil being known as the Darkness tricked us into destroying the beacon that allowed us powers in this world."_

Mario had put on his overalls and was now putting on his gloves.

"_Ever since then I've been having dreams of the glory days. We've been getting along without them, but how long can we live like this?"_

Mario put on his cap and went downstairs, passing his brothers bedroom, where he could hear Luigi snoring. He opened the door and took in the not-so-great view.

"_Anyways, I'm hungry. I feel like Mexican today._"

With that, he started to walk down to the park. It was covered in puddles and wasn't exactly the nicest place to go, but Mario had grown used to it. But when he got there, he saw two very familiar people. Curious, he walked up to them.

It was his ex, Pauline, chatting and laughing with his friend Donkey Kong. They had tea and cake with them and seemed to be enjoying themselves. Then Pauline noticed Mario coming towards them, and her laughter broke off with a groan.

"What's going on here, Pauline?" Mario asked.

"Oh hey, Mario, I believe you've met my boyfriend, DK?" she greeted with a tone which made it clear she wasn't happy to see him.

"BOYFRIEND?! You two are _dating_? Eugh..." Mario said, shuddering at the thought.

"Yeah, and it's been about, what, three months now?" she asked DK, who shrugged.

"You can't be serious. Don't you remember? He kidnapped you and I rescued you. Or has the year 1981 completely been erased from your memory?!" Mario protested.

"Oh, but he's different now, he's _so _much more sophisticated. Look, he's drinking tea." Pauline pointed out. DK held up his cup.

Mario looked at Pauline.

"Hey, I've played Donkey Kong Country Returns and I don't think he's changed at all." He retorted.

"Isn't Peach waiting for you or something? We're _trying _to have a nice meal here." Snapped Pauline, clearly getting frustrated.

"Actually, Peach and me broke up, ah, a while back." Admitted Mario.

_And good riddance._

"Well, don't blame _your _failed love life on us." Was the reply, Pauline rolling her eyes.

"You didn't even answer my calls after I saved you." He reminded her, holding up his phone.

"Well, you're not my type." Pauline said dismissively.

"You're _really _gonna choose this gorilla, over SUPER MARIO?" He demanded, unable to come to terms with being bested by a gorilla.

Pauline scoffed.

"_Super _Mario? Well, I'm sorry Mario, but without your powers, you're just a plumber."

Mario opened his mouth to protest, but closed it and walked off, seeing he was beat.

Mario was now in a bad mood and walked slowly back home. Pauline was right, though. Without his fireballs and beam swords, he was just an average plumber. Mulling on this, he didn't notice the teenager walking in front of him until it was too late.

"WOAH!" he cried as he tripped over the boy's feet, sending them both crashing to the ground. Groaning Mario tried to sit up.

"Oh my god, I'm sorry Mario." Apologised the boy. He held out a hand, having gotten up quickly. Mario accepted the hand, getting up and getting a good look at the boy.

He was blond, with smooth hair and a small quiff at the front. He had a yellow T-Shirt with red stripes, blue shorts and yellow and orange trainers.

He looked familiar, but Mario couldn't remember his name.

"What's your name?" he asked.

The boy blinked.

"My name's Lucas. I'm a friend of Ness. I came to see him because I haven't seen him for a while. Also, I just felt like I was needed here."

That was it. At the beginning of Season 3, Ness had gone back to his world and had come back during the Movie Act II.

"You'll need somewhere to stay. Come with me back to my house." Said Mario.

"Are you sure? I can always stay with Wario."

"Of course it's fine."

Why wouldn't it be? Surely Lucas didn't think he would leave him out there on his own. Besides, Ness needed similar age company.

It was a few minutes walk to Mario's house. Luigi was waiting at the door.

"Mario, I wondered where you'd gotten to. And who's this?" asked his brother.

"This is Lucas. He's a friend of Ness and needs somewhere to stay."

"I see."

A few moments silence passed before Luigi spoke up.

"Well, what's wrong?"

Mario huffed.

"I'll tell you inside."

-xxxx-

"So NOW she's dating DK? What does that say?" asked Mario, finishing his recount.

"I know. You'd think Pauline would know better." Luigi agreed.

"You'd think she'd be a little bit more grateful."

"Was Peach ever grateful?" Luigi reminded.

"...Good point. I guess good deeds don't always have rewards."

"Speaking of deeds, I just sold a deed to that Mansion I inherited last summer." Luigi announced.

"Oh yeah? How much did you get for it?" Mario asked excitedly, preparing to be staggered by the amount.

But he was to be disappointed.

"I got something better than money. I got a lifetime supply of flash drives." Luigi added.

Mario gaped.

"You sold a six acre, five-storey mansion for flash drives?!" he cried, shocked.

"Yeah, now I'll never run out of memory."

"Remember this; you're an idiot."

A noise made Mario look up and he saw his friend Wario.

"Hey Luigi, ready to go bowling?"

"Bowling? Luigi, I thought we were going to hang out today." He accused.

"Sorry Mario, I promised Wario we'd go bowling." Luigi apologised.

"And _I _wasn't invited?!" he demanded, outraged.

"Pssh, you're too lazy to bowl, Mario. All you do is sit around and eat pasta."

"You can't be too lazy to bowl," protested Mario, "all you do is roll a ball on the ground."

Wario frowned.

"Well it's soooooo much more complicated than that. First there's air velocity..."

"SCREW YOU WARIO! And as it is, I've actually been cutting down on pasta." He shouted, jumping up and grabbing Wario's collar.

"I was going to say, you've been looking better." Luigi complimented.

"Thanks."

"But you still can't go Mario." Luigi insisted.

"Aw, why not?" asked Mario, looking bummed out.

"Snake called. He needs to talk to you about something."

"Can't he come over here?"

"Nope. He said _you _have to go over _there_." Replied Luigi.

"Why?"

"I don't know," shrugged Luigi, "he said it was really important."

"Ugh! Okay, fine I'll go to Snake's."

"Great. I'll see you later Mario."

Then Luigi and Wario went off, Wario patting Mario on the cheek and saying, "That better?"

"WOOOOOOOO!" he screamed after them, before slumping.

"Hey Lucas." He called. The teen popped his head around the side.

"Yes, Mario?"

"Feel free to take anything from the fridge except tonight's dinner."

"Which is?"

"Pizza."

"Okay." Lucas said.

Mario went out, deciding it was best not to keep Snake waiting.

-xxxxx-

Mario knocked on the door, which was immediately opened.

"Hey Snake, what's the big ide- WOAH!" cried Mario, finding himself picked up and thrown on the sofa. Snake slammed the door shut and looked at Mario.

"He's back."

"Who's back?" asked Mario, sitting up.

"My brother. Liquid."

Mario jumped.

"What? But you shot him."

"Yes. But I didn't make sure that he was dead. He could've been wearing a bullet proof vest." Replied Snake.

"Well what makes you think he's alive?" asked Mario, standing up.

"I saw him last week when I was doing a sneaking mission. He was at a Starbucks."

Mario laughed.

"What? Now Snake, don't you think if Liquid was alive, he'd be trying to keep a low profile, and not going out and buying a cup of overpriced Starbucks coffee?" Mario said, putting his hand on Snake's shoulder.

Snake shook him off and glared at him.

"I know what I saw, Mario! He's alive and it's only a matter of time before he comes back to kill us all."

"I think we can take care of him." Assured Mario.

"No! He'll be better prepared. He'll come back with more powerful friends than before."

"Well, what do you expect _me_ to do about it?" asked Mario.

"We need to get our powers back." Snake said, grabbing the plumber's shoulders, "We cannot hope to win without them."

"Not possible. Without the beacon, there's now way for us to have powers." Mario told him.

"Are you sure? It only took one bullet to destroy the beacon. It seems like something that powerful would take more than one human bullet to destroy." Explained Snake.

"You know, that's true. I never thought about it like that." Mario agreed.

"Maybe it wasn't a beacon at all. Maybe, it was something else."

"It's possible. I never heard of such a beacon before that day."

"What if-Ohhhh." Snake broke off, doubling over and clutching his stomach.

"What's wrong?"

"Diarrhoea. Be right back." Groaned Snake, dashing up to the bathroom. Mario rolled his eyes as he heard the bathroom door slam.

"I can't worry about this right now. I need to prove to Pauline that I'm worthy of the name Super Mario. Maybe I can give her something." He said.

"Hmm."

Then he noticed something. A small rectangular package wrapped in blue wrapping paper. Picking it up, he shook it.

"These chocolates will do." He thought out loud.

"Sorry Snake, gotta run."

Then he quickly left the house.

_**Meanwhile...**_

With a swing of his arm, Luigi knocked down the last peg on Wii Sports.

"Wahoo! Looks like I beat you again, Wario."

"WAAAH! It's no fun playing with you if you keep winning."

"Don't be a sore loser, Wario." Luigi said.

"If this was real bowling I'd kick your ass."

Luigi frowned.

"What did I tell you about your language, Wario?"

"To... try and speak better English?" Wario queried.

"NO! Keep the vulgarities to a minimum." Luigi scolded his friend.

"There's nothing wrong with saying the word ass. In fact, NedWard TV has allowed the use of that word since-

"WARIO!"

"Fine, I won't say it again...in front of you."

"HMPH!"

-xxxx-

Mario hurried back to the park, where Pauline was texting someone.

"Hey, Pauline."

She looked up at him.

"Oh, hey Mario, what's up?" she said in a bored tone.

"Well first, I wanted to apologise for my behaviour earlier. I shouldn't have gotten upset." He explained.

"Hey, don't worry about it, it happens." She said.

"Oh, and also I wanted to give you this." Mario added, a grin crossing his face as he gave Pauline the chocolates.

She gasped.

"Chocolates, they're my favourite, how'd you know?" she squealed.

"Oh, just a lucky guess." He replied, giving a knowing look to the viewers.

"Thank you, Mario. DK never does this sort of thing for me; he's such an ape sometimes."

Mario decided now was not a moment to point out that as because he _was _an ape.

"No problem!" he grinned.

"Hey, uh, we should hang out sometime." Suggested Pauline.

"Oh, y-yeah, that would be great." He stammered, not expecting this so quickly.

"Cool." She replied, smiling.

"Well, I'd better be running off, but it was great running into you."

"Yeah, see you later."

Mario walked off, giving a triumphant 'Yes' to the viewers.

-xxxx-

Mario was playing on his Xbox when he heard several knocks at the door.

"I wonder who that could be." He thought out loud, going up to the door and opening it.

It was Snake, and he looked frustrated.

"Mario, did you see a box of chocolates while you were at my house?"

"No. Why?" Mario lied.

"Drr, somebody stole my box of chocolates." Explained Snake, coming inside.

"Oh no. Really?" Mario asked in pretend shock.

"Yeah, I can't believe it."

"Wow, that's terrible." Mario pretended to agree.

"I know!"

"Well, you know, you could just buy a new one." Mario suggested.

"Ugh, I wish it were that simple." Said Snake, taking a cigarette from behind his ear.

"Those are incredibly hard to ship over here." He explained.

"But they're just chocolates, right?" Mario questioned.

"No, they're medical chocolates."

"Medical chocolates?!"

"They contain a FOXDIE cure. If I don't have at least one box a year, I start to turn into an old man." Snake told him.

"Why is that?" Asked Mario, confused.

"Well, it has to do with me being a clone of Big Boss, and getting injected with the virus, yada yada yada."

"I see."

"The point is, when I find out who stole those chocolates...oh man, I don't know what I'm gonna do." Snake said.

Mario's eye twitched. He was starting to get a bad feeling about this.

"Just out of curiosity, what would happen to, say, a normal person if they...ate the chocolates?" Mario asked, hoping the answer wouldn't be the one he feared it would be.

"Oh, they die. Why, you know something about it?" queried Snake.

DK burst through the door.

"(PAULINE IS DEAD!)"

Shocked, Mario turned to Snake and gave him a sheepish grin as he received a death glare.

**To be continued in Episode 47: Poke-Drawls**


	2. Poke-Drawls

Stupid Mario Bros: Season 4

Episode 47 – Poke-Drawls

**Disclaimer: I don't own StMB**

**Authors note: I apologise if I caused offence to Starbucks lovers. Clearly Richie doesn't like it and it was his script. Anyway, hope you enjoy this chapter.**

**PS: I can't write Australian accents.**

"Curse you, Golden Sun. No one will ever be able to beat this boss!" cried Wario, scowling at Golden Sun DS. The boss he was on was really hard.

"G'Day, Wario."

Wario looked up in surprise, his eyes widening.

"Waluigi?"

"How ya doin'? It feels like I've been away for so long." Asked Waluigi, standing opposite him.

Wario raised an eyebrow.

"You have...and what happened to your accent?" he demanded.

"Oh, I've been in Australia."

"Why?"

"What else, the girls."

Wario spluttered.

"What? What happened to Walgina?" he asked his friend, referring to Waluigi's purple loving girlfriend.

"Let's just say we had some creative differences." Replied Waluigi.

"And, what were those?"

"Well, she wanted me to stop wearing purple."

"Oh, I see... well it's good to have you back." Said Wario. He was confused that Walgina would hate purple when she wore it herself.

"Oh, thank you mate." Replied Waluigi.

Wario laughed.

"Weh heh heh, now go away." He told his friend.

"What?" Waluigi asked, offended.

"I'm trying to beat Golden Sun DS." Wario explained.

"Which boss?"

"A hard one."

Waluigi nodded. He sat down next to Wario and got out his DS Lite and started playing as well.

-xxxx-

Meanwhile, in the back yard, a scruffy haired Brock was searching through the grass.

"Aw, why is there no Pokémon out today. Ugh, I'm starting to get tired."

Then he noticed something in the distance. A gorilla was jumping up and down.

"Whoa, a Pokémon. I'm gonna catch it. Here goes nothing. Go Pokéball." He exclaimed, swinging the ball around and throwing it.

WHACK!

It hit the gorilla in the face, and he rubbed it.

"(Hey, what's the deal?!)"

Brock straightened up and grinned as he realised who it was.

"Hey, that's no Pokémon... it's DK!"

He ran to where his friend was standing.

"Hey, DK. How are you? Man, it's been a long time."

"(Yeah!)"

"I heard your girlfriend died. Ohhhh, that sucks." Brock added. DK hung his head.

"Well, I've been great. I graduated from Ref school with honours."

"(Congratulations)" DK replied.

"HEY! You two better not be becoming best friends over there!" yelled an annoying voice. One that could only belong to Gary Oak.

"Ha! You're too late. Me and DK are already best friends." Brock countered, putting his arm around DK.

"(Yeah, we are.)"

Gary snorted.

"As if. DK is _my _best friend!" he said overconfidently.

"(Best friend? Never even seen you before.)" DK said whilst scratching his head.

"DK says he's never even met you." Brock translated.

"HUH! Fine then. We'll have a Pokémon duel. And whoever wins gets to be DK's best friend."

"Fine."

_A few minutes later..._

Both Pokémon masters stood with their Pokéballs in their hands. Gary laughed, whilst Brock merely chuckled. They drew their arms back and threw the Pokéballs at each other. They hit the ground... and nothing happened.

"Aw Man!"

"Dang it!"

Annoyed, they went into Mario's house. Mario was playing on his X-Box, but stopped playing when Brock and Gary stormed in.

"Aw, Mario, our Pokéballs don't work." Brock said.

"This sucks, everything sucks, it sucks to...UGH!" Gary ranted.

"Yeah, I used a Geodude and nothing popped out."

"Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, one at a time, what's wrong?!" Mario asked.

"Our Pokéballs don't work, stupid." Snapped Gary.

"Our Pokémon battle was interrupted due to the Pokémon's inability to function." Brock explained.

"Well, it could be because of the beacon." Mario offered, deciding not to mention that the Pokémon had never worked in this world.

"_Beacon_? What Beacon?" demanded Gary.

"Well, it's a long story. The point is, well, we're not going to have powers anymore."

"For how long?"

Mario shrugged.

"I don't know. Maybe forever."

Brock and Gary exchanged horrified glances.

"What?! Forever?!"

"NO!"

"This sucks I'm too awesome-

"I'll never catch Pokémon again-

"You're not awesome, I'm awesome-

"I'll never get a girl now because I can't catch Pokémon-

"I'm too awesome for this-

"This is so stupid Mario-

"Our Pokéballs must be broken, I won't believe you-

"This is all your fault Mario-

"This sucks, you suck, I'm awesome."

Mario looked as the two kept shouting at him.

"H-How are we supposed to fight each other?" shouted Gary.

Mario gave them a look.

"Can't you guys just, you know, get along?"

"NO!"

Mario rolled his eyes.

"Well, then I can't help you."

"AW MAN!"

"THIS SUCKS!"

Brock and Gary left his house.

"Gee, what a bunch of whiners."

-xxxx-

Luigi and Ness were on the swings. Ness was trying to convince Luigi that his powers didn't work.

"I already told you Luigi, my psychic powers are completely gone."

"You have to try, Ness! I have to know when the next Nintendo console comes out. Then I can plan to get it."Luigi insisted.

"You know about the 3DS coming out in March, right?" Ness inquired.

"Yeah, but I'm not talking about handhelds. I'm talking about the Wii 2 or whatever they're gonna call it." Luigi explained.

"Fine, I'll give it another go."

He held his fingers to his temples and concentrated. His body shook and then...

An unpleasant noise filled the air.

"Ooh, did that sound mean it worked?" asked Luigi.

"No Luigi, that was the sound of my fart."

"EWWW! Gross."

"I'm sorry Luigi, I can't do it." Ness apologised.

"Aw, no way. If only there was a way to get our powers back."

"If there was, we would have figured it out by now."

"Yeah, you're probably right." Muttered Luigi, hanging his head.

-xxxx-

Wario gaped as Waluigi finished off his word. This was their fourth time today playing Scrabble.

"And that makes 50 points for me. Looks like I win again, Wario." Boasted Waluigi.

"WAH! You suck!" snapped Wario, slamming down his tiles.

"Don't get mad at me just cause I'm smarter than ya!" Waluigi told him.

"How dare you? I'M SMART!" retorted Wario.

"Oh yeah? What's the capital of France then?" Asked Waluigi.

"It's, er, I- I don't know." Blurted Wario.

"I rest my case."

"Hey, that's not fair, no one knows that!"

"People in France do." Waluigi pointed out.

"WE'RE NOT IN FRANCE!" Wario shouted, holding up a Scrabble tile rack.

**Asshole**

"Well, at least we're aware of that." Sneered Waluigi, holding up his Scrabble tile rack.

**Dumbass**

"You know what? I think Australia made you even more pompous than you were before!"

"There's no need to get touchy." Waluigi protested.

"Pssh! I'm going to go and see what Mario and Lucas are up to. And next time I see you, lose that stupid accent!" Wario snapped.

"I like this accent." Waluigi said.

"Oh yeah, and take this for the road." Said Wario. Then he turned round and farted in Waluigi's face.

"UGH! NO! IT STINKS! STOP IT! WARIO! NOOO!"

Wario sighed with contentment.

"That was uncalled for!" cried Waluigi.

Wario straightened up.

"See you later, kangaroo boy!" he said, and then quickly ran out of the room, leaving Waluigi to grumble to himself.

-xxxx-

Lucas was sitting with Mario, playing a game of Wii Tennis.

"HA! I'm gonna win!" boasted Mario.

"Not as long as I'm still here!" retorted Lucas.

"I'm gonna- NOOOOO!" cried Mario, as Lucas won the game a second time.

"Aw man, you're good." Mario complimented.

"I guess that's what happens when you hang out with Ness." Lucas said.

"Speaking of which, you said you came to the Real World because you wanted to see him. But I think there's another reason for you coming here."

Lucas sat back. It was true. There was another reason other than wanting to see his friend to come to the Real World. He had wanted a taste of adventure, and of the random things that happened here according to Ness. And he was enjoying it.

"Well, I just wanted to see what the Real World was like. Ness had told me about the random things that happened here. So as well as seeing my friend, I would also be able to take part in these random things. A good thing I did come here, else you might have kept on thinking you were the better Wii Tennis player." Lucas explained.

"Son of a goomba!" snapped Mario.

"Just kidding."

"I knew that. You've probably noticed Brock and Gary by now."

"Yeah, annoying as hell. How the heck did you put up with it?" asked Lucas.

"I just have patience. Plus, you get use to it after a few months." Replied Mario.

"It'll take a few months for _me _to get used to them." Lucas added.

"Yeah, probably." Mario thought. It went silent for a moment. Lucas knew that Mario would sometimes become quite serious when contemplating something. But the moment didn't last long.

"Hey, want to play Super Mario Sluggers?"

"Sure thing, plumber." Lucas replied, going over to change the game. Mario was a good opponent, game wise. Even if his commentary was a little over the top.

They had just started playing when Snake burst through the door.

"Ever heard of knocking?" Lucas asked him. He got ignored.

"MARIO!" shouted Snake, pointing at Mario.

"What? What do you want?"

"Where is my $10,000?" Snake demanded, jabbing a finger in Mario's face.

"What in the name of King Toadstool are you talking about?"

Snake growled.

"The chocolates, the ones you stole from my house, they were $10,000!" he explained.

"$10,000?!" cried Mario.

"It's no joke, Mario. This morning I looked in the mirror and found a grey hair." Snake said.

"Why do you have to be all vain, Snake?" Mario asked him.

Snake huffed, exasperated.

"In case you forgot, Mario, if I don't get those chocolates, I'm going to hyper age and die!"

"Have you tried Just for Men hair dye?"

Lucas chuckled to himself, but had to jump back as Snake lunged for Mario and held him up by the collar.

"Mario, I swear to God, if you don't get me my money, I _will _kill you!"

"KILL ME? Isn't that a bit extreme?" Mario demanded.

"Didn't seem so extreme when you killed Pauline!" Snake pointed out.

"That'll teach you to leave things lying out again." Lucas countered.

"Stay out of this!" snapped Snake.

"Calm down, I'll get you your money!" Mario said.

"You'd better!" warned Snake. Then he left the house whilst Mario brushed himself down.

"What the heck is his problem?" Lucas asked.

"He just doesn't want to die I guess. I should've gotten my own chocolates for Pauline, so you should've snapped at me."

Lucas frowned.

"You didn't know they were poisonous to normal people."

"I guess."

Lucas heard stomping footsteps and looked round to see Luigi storm into the room.

"MARIO!"

"Oh great, now what?" demanded Mario.

"Just kidding, bro. There's nothing wrong." Luigi said, grinning.

"Oh good; because if one more person yells at me-

"MARIO!" screamed Wario, bursting through the door.

"GREAT!" Mario snapped.

"Wario, calm down." Lucas said.

Wario gave a sheepish grin.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to yell." He apologised.

"Ugh! What do you want?"

"Mario, we need to have a serious talk about how we're going to get out powers back." Wario started.

"Yeah Mario, we need them back." Luigi added.

"I think so too." Lucas added as well. The group were clearly starting to struggle without them. Especially Ness.

Mario glanced between Luigi and Wario.

"Oh c'mon guys, don't worry about 'powers', just have fun. I'm having fun."

Luigi and Lucas exchanged a glance, whilst Wario went up to Mario.

"Are you really, Mario? Are you really?" asked Wario, standing nose to nose.

"Um...yeah?" Mario said nervously.

Wario stood back, giving him a look that said 'I don't believe you', but then he frowned.

"I see. Well, you know where to find me when you change your mind. See you later, bubble head." Wario said, walking out.

"SON OF A-!" started Mario, trying to lunge towards Wario, only to have Luigi and Lucas holding him back.

"Mario, he's not worth it. Think of the toads!" cried Luigi.

Lucas rolled his eyes. They may be his friends, but they really were wacky sometimes.

-xxxx-

Wario went down the front steps and started to walk off, but then noticed something. Then he heard voices.

"I choose you, Pokémon!"

"You suck!"

He looked over the front yard, where Brock and Gary were throwing things at each other.

"I choose you, grass!"

"I choose you, rock!" countered Gary, throwing a rock at Brock's arm.

"OW! Hey, watch it with that!"

"Oh, gee, I'm not sorry!"

Wario snorted.

"Wow, those guys really suck."

"Hey Wario."

He looked up to see his friend come towards him.

"I wanted to apologise for earlier." Waluigi explained.

"Hey, you lost that dumb accent!" Wario commented. Waluigi merely smiled.

"And you are right. You are smart, just...in your own way."

Wario blinked.

"In my own way? What the heck does that mean?"

Waluigi shrugged.

"Nothing, it just means you're smart."

"Yeah, but you said in my own way." Pointed out Wario.

"It was a compliment." Waluigi lied.

"_Compliment? _That was supposed to be a _compliment?_" Wario cried.

"You're taking this too personally, Wario."

Wario scowled.

"Personal? It hasn't even begun to get personal!"

Waluigi started to say something, but stormed off muttering curses about Wario.

"Hey, come back here."

-xxxx-

Mario picked up his plunger.

"Well, time to go and plunge toilets."

Luigi jumped up from the sofa.

"Oh no you don't! The last time you tried to plunge a toilet, you caused a shootout and killed eight people!"

Mario looked at Luigi. He didn't remember that happening. Surely that wasn't true.

"I don't remember that."

"Don't you play Interactive Adventures?" asked Luigi.

"No, I don't!" stated Mario.

"Well, it doesn't matter; you lost your plumbing licence!"

"No way, now how will I get Snake his money?"

A knock on the door interrupted their conversation. Mario walked over to it.

"I wonder who that could be." Said Luigi.

Mario opened the door to reveal a tall, dark haired man, wearing a blue floral shirt.

"Hello. My name's Tommy Vercetti. I'm from the Mothers and Fathers Italian Association." He introduced himself.

"The what?"

"The Mafia!"

Mario stepped backwards.

"The Mafia?"

"I noticed you two are Italian and a bit low on cash at the moment."

Mario paused for a second.

"Well, that's certainly true, I am low on cash. And Italian."

"We like to treat our brothers like family. How would you two like to work for me?" Vercetti asked.

"Well, I don't know. I'd have to think about it."

Vercetti grinned.

"Okay, have a think about it. And when you're done thinking about it...here's my card." He said, giving Mario his card. Then he left.

Mario closed the door. He knew this was dangerous and a stupid thing to do. He knew Lucas would say the same thing if he was here, but he was outside at the moment. Besides, Snake had threatened to kill him, and while he liked to believe that his friend wouldn't do that, he knew Snake was ...unpredictable.

He turned to Luigi.

"Hey bro, want to join the Mafia?"

**To be continued in Episode 48.**

**Lucas will remain as part of Mario's team for the rest of the Season. I am going to try and make his personality a bit similar to the games, but he will also act a bit teenage at times. But most of the time he'll think before he acts. Also, I changed the category of the story from 'Mario' to 'Super Smash Brothers', as the latter is more suitable for Stupid Mario Bros.**


	3. The Case of the Stolen Junk

Stupid Mario Bros Episode 48: The Case of the Stolen Junk.

"And then Roy was like, 'You'll never defeat my brawn." And I was like, 'Oh, yeah?", and then I farted in his face."

Waluigi laughed as Wario recalled Super Smash Brothers Melee .

"Good times. Whatever happened to that guy, anyway?"

Wario shrugged.

"I don't know. He got replaced by someone called Ike or something."

"So, want to play some games?" asked Waluigi.

"Yeah, just let me get my trust D...S?" said Wario, expression becoming puzzled as he failed to find his DS in his overalls. He went over to a draw and started looking through that.

"No...No... Random crap!"

"My DS is gone too." Waluigi realised.

"My Nintendo Wii's gone!" Wario cried from under the table.

"What the heck is going on?" asked Waluigi.

"I don't know, but I smell some very stupid Mario brothers involved.

-xxxx-

"What? Someone stole your bananas?" Brock cried.

"(Yeah. My lovely bananas!)" Replied DK.

"That sucks. Someone stole my Pokéball, but I think I know who." Brock stated.

"What are you losers talking about, huh?" demanded Gary.

"Hey, Gary, did you steal my Pokéball?" Brock asked.

"No. In fact, I think _you _stole _my _Pokéball!" Gary replied.

"Your Pokéball's missing too?"

"Yeah, it was missing from my stuff today."

"DK's bananas are gone too." Brock added.

"That's weird. What would anyone want with bananas and Pokéballs?"

"Hey, guys, I can't find my baseball bat and yo-yo." Ness said, walking up to them.

"HA! The plot thickens!" Brock said.

"You're missing stuff too!"

"It's a mystery."

"If only my psychic powers were working, then I could see who's behind all this." Ness muttered.

"Oh, come on! This one is easy. Who do we know is an expert in espionage and sneaking around?"

"SNAKE!" the four of them said in unison.

"What?" he said, walking up to the group.

"Snake, did you steal our Pokéballs, bats, bananas and yo-yos?" asked Brock.

"Say that ten times fast." Ness said under his breath to DK.

"You're accusing me? I have no reason to steal your crap."

"You have no idea who's behind all this?" Ness asked.

"No. Though I recently had something stolen from me."

"What is it?" Brock asked.

"My chocolates that contain the cure to FOXDIE."

"Who stole them?" Ness questioned.

"Mario!"

"WHAT? Impossible." Brock cried in disbelief.

"Mario _stole _it?" Ness inquired.

"Yeah. He fed them to some chick and she died."

"(PAULINE)" DK wailed in distress.

"Let's not panic. Mario must have taken these things for a good reason. Just wait. He'll return them." Ness assured.

-xxxx-

"Here you go Mr Vercetti." Mario said, handing Vercetti a bucket containing Pokéballs, a baseball bat, some bananas and a yo-yo. Both him and Luigi were now wearing sunglasses and trench coats.

"Oh, thanks for delivery guys. We've got to put this on the black market tomorrow."

"No problem." Mario replied.

"Yeah, we never liked those guys anyway." Luigi lied.

"We also brought a bag of apples, Mr Vercetti. Would you like those as well?" Mario asked him.

"Okay, let me tell you something. This stuff, this stuff right here, this is good stuff. Apples? No, no, we don't like apples." Vercetti explained.

"Oh...well, Yoshi will be pleased." Mario said.

_In Mario's house..._

Yoshi held the bucket of apples in his hands. Well, the empty bucket of apples.

"YOSHI!"

_Back to Mario..._

"What do you need us to do now?"

"I need you to pick up a car for me. It's a couple blocks away and it's a Greystation Wagon."

"I see...and is this car yours?"

Vercetti gave them a creepy grin.

"Let's just say I'm...repossessing it. You're okay with that, right?"

"Well..." Mario started to say.

"I'll give you another $2000." Vercetti interrupted.

"Deal!"

-xxxx-

Back in Mario's house, Wario was singing to himself.

"Stay! Just a little bit. One more time. I'LL WATCH YA STAYYYY!"

"What are you doing?" Waluigi demanded, sitting up on the bed a little bit.

"I'm...I'm just trying to keep myself from becoming bored, now that out DS's are gone." Wario explained, taking off his sunglasses.

"Well, if you're going to be doing musical theatre, at least try to do it properly. It should sound more like this." Waluigi replied, pushing Wario out of the way. Then he started singing.

"Tell him how I'm defying gravity. Kiss me goodbye, I'm defying gravity. And you can't bring me...dowwwwn!"

"Pssh! Whatever. Look at this!" he said, starting to sing.

"If God had granted me a son. The summers die one by one. How soon they fly on in dawn. I am old, and will be gone...bitch." he added at the end.

"There are giants in the sky!" Waluigi began, "there are great tall terrible giants in the sky."

"Tonight, tonight, I hope again tonight..."

"Anything you can do, I can do better..."

"Tonight, I'm alive, so alive, I can..."

"Love me a lady toniiight, love me a lady toniiight...

"There's a bright golden haze on the meadow..."

"I will rise! I will dance with pride... on the wheels of a dream!" Waluigi sang, finishing his little dance.

Wario scowled.

"Dammit, Waluigi, why do you always have to prove you're better than me?!" Wario cried.

"Keeps me from getting bored." Waluigi replied smugly.

"Meh..." Wario started muttering to himself angrily.

-xxxx-

Mario and Luigi looked around warily as they closed in on the car. Luigi opened the car door, and sat inside it. Luigi sighed. This was a bad idea from the beginning and he face his brother.

"Mario, are you sure about this? How long can we keep doing the mobs dirty work?"

Mario rolled his eyes.

"After this, Luigi, we'll have $8000. Then we only need another $2000 to pay off Snake."

"No _you _need another $2000 to pay off Snake. Besides, what about the other stuff we stole? We'll have to pay those back as well." Luigi pointed out. He felt guilty about stealing from his friends, and he regretted going along with this idea.

"Oh...well I hadn't thought of that." Mario realised.

"Mario, listen to me. We need to get ourselves out of this fast!"

"Why?"

"I don't know. I just have a feeling. They could have us do something bad."

Mario scoffed.

"What? That's ridiculous. Luigi, they're not going to have us do anything we won't want to do."

_Later that day..._

"How do you guys feel about murder?"

The question was so blunt, Luigi was struck speechless.

_Murder?!_

"Ummmm..." Mario said.

"I know a couple of brass ball guys such as yourselves would be up for it."

"Well, gee, Tommy, when we said-

"Okay, here's a baseball bat. The target; Solid Snake!"

Luigi gasped and shared a horrified look with Mario.

"He's been messing up my operation for years now."

"Solid Snake?" Mario cried in disbelief.

"He's been a thorn in my side forever. I'll give you his whereabouts." Vercetti said.

"That won't be necessary, Mr Vercetti. We know where he is." Mario replied.

Luigi decided it wouldn't be a good idea to reveal their friendship with Snake if Vercetti was that pissed off about him.

"Good. And I expect you guys to have this done by the end of the day."

Mario and Luigi walked a few metres away. Then Luigi turned to Mario.

"Mario, how are we supposed to pay of Snake if he's dead?" Luigi demanded.

"Don't worry. We're not going to kill Snake." Mario assured. Luigi breathed a sigh of relief, and then he frowned.

"Then what do we do?"

"I've heard about a guy." Mario started to explain, as he and Luigi walked away.

_A few minutes later..._

Mario and Luigi, in their normal clothes, walked into an office. There was a black-haired guy with two guns sitting there.

"Excuse me, are you, Mr Max Payne?" Mario asked.

"Two strange men walk into my office. One red, one green." Max Payne said, speaking out loud in monologue.

"Excuse me?" Luigi questioned.

"They look confused, probably stupid. Something about them made me want to help them." Payne continued.

"Um...will you help us?" Mario asked warily, slightly creeped out by Mr Payne.

"'Sure', I said. I was intrigued to find out what this was all about." Payne replied.

"We know the whereabouts of Tommy Vercetti's mob."

Instantly Max Payne got out his guns.

"At last, Vercetti. The man I anxiously wanted to take down. His whereabouts finally within my grasp." Payne said.

"He's gonna have at least five guards at his place. Can you handle that?" asked Luigi.

"They question my skills, to which I laugh and say it'll be easy; 'Ha ha ha! It'll be easy!'" Payne replied.

"This guy is weird." Luigi muttered under his breath.

"No kidding." Mario replied quietly, before turning back to Payne.

"It's just 15 minutes down the road. Are you ready to go?" Mario asked.

"I want to reply that I was born ready, but that would be too clichéd. So I simply answer 'Yeah I'm ready.'" Payne replied.

"Good. Let's a go!" Mario added.

"Quietly, we march to the home of my nemesis. Today will be a glorious day." Payne said, raising his pistols.

**End of Chapter**

**I think I did a good job separating Wario and Waluigi's singing contest. I might not have gotten all the lyrics right though. Next chapter will see Max Payne deal with Tommy Vercetti in Episode 49; A Huge Payne.**


	4. A Huge Payne

Stupid Mario Bros Season 4 Episode 49: A Huge Payne

**Author's note: I have changed the guns to water pistols (filled with soapy), because of the rating of this story. Plus, using water pistols would have suited Stupid Mario Bros more. Tommy Vercetti will receive many a custard pie in his face (splatter gun****).**

Wario sat at his desk, attempting to write a decent letter he could send off to a certain girl. Sighing, he got out a third piece of paper and started again.

"Dear Mona, it was great seeing you at the Annual Mushroom Fart Contest last year. I ask, did you see me compete? And if you did, then- oh, no, that's no use." Wario cried, screwing up the paper and reaching for another one. He started again.

"Dear Mona, last year at the Brawl Fest, I noticed you noticing me. I thought- no, no, no, that sucks as well."

Wario was now getting frustrated. He furiously scrunched up the piece of paper and threw it behind him. Taking yet another sheet, he did one more attempt.

"Dear Mona, could we go out sometime...huh." Wario murmured dejectedly. His shoulders slumped and he was focusing so much on his letter he didn't notice someone come up behind him.

"What you writing there, Wario?" asked Waluigi. Wario looked up to scowl at him.

"None of your business, purple pants."

"I'm merely curious." Waluigi defended.

"It's merely no big deal." Retorted Wario. He looked down and continued to write.

"If it's no big deal, then why can't I see it?" Waluigi said, snatching the letter.

"Hey!"

Waluigi looked at it and smirked.

"Ooh, who's Mona?" he teased.

"Give my letter back, you stupid purple buffoon." Wario cried, jumping up from his chair.

"No way, this is priceless!"

"It's personal. Just because you don't have someone to write to." Wario retorted.

Waluigi chose to ignore that.

"So who's Mona?"

Wario huffed.

"If I tell you, will you promise to give the letter back?"

Waluigi thought about this for a moment.

"Okay."

Wario nodded and began his story.

"Alright, you recall a few years ago when I started that stupid WarioWare thing?"

"Yeah, so what?" Waluigi asked.

"Well, that's where I first met Mona. The girl of my dreams..." Wario trailed off, a grin on his face.

"Did it go anywhere?" Waluigi asked.

"No, obviously not. But I have tried hard." Wario explained.

"She doesn't like you?"

Wario shrugged.

"I don't know. I never properly asked her to go on a date." He replied.

"Well, that would be problem number one." Waluigi started. Wario scowled.

"I don't want to talk about it anymore! Can I have the letter back?" he asked.

"Sure." Waluigi gave back the letter.

"Thanks, stupid."

"No problem."

-xxxx-

Meanwhile, outside Vercetti's house, Mario, Luigi and Max Payne were talking.

"He's right in there, Mr Payne." Mario said, pointing towards the house.

"He tells me where Vercetti is, but he didn't need to. I can smell him."

"Uh, right." Luigi said.

"Do you need our help?" Mario asked.

"Huh. A stupid question, because Max Payne never needs help."

"You sure? I mean, you're only armed with two water pistols."

Payne turned his head and glared at them.

"I tell them 'Sometimes, death isn't always necessary. Besides, Tommy doesn't have a lot of sense, so it's likely his guards won't either. They'll most likely have water pistols as well.'" Payne explained.

"I should have told them to get lost. But instead I told them to wait; 'Wait here'". Payne said, before going off.

He hurried up the stairs to the front door and banged on it. A guard with sunglasses greeted him.

"Hey!"

"I tell him I'm looking for Vercetti. 'Where's Vercetti?'"

"Uh, you lookin' for de boss?"

"Huh, another idiot. 'Yes, I'm looking for the boss!' I tell him." Payne replied.

"Ah, well in that case..." the guard said, pulling out his own water pistol. Immediately, Payne disarmed the guard, snatched off his sunglasses and squirted the soapy water in his eyes. The guard swore and ran off.

"Another injury that could have been prevented had that man's childhood led him to somewhere other than the mob."

Stepping inside, Payne looked around, until he heard the click of a water pistol. He glanced up and saw another guard.

"IT'S PAYNE! GET THE WATER PISTOLS!"

"'OH CRAP!' I said." Payne muttered.

-xxxx-

"So, you were able to get the items back?" Luigi asked his brother.

"Yeah, a few moments before the truck shipped out." Mario replied.

"Sweet, now our friends won't be pissed at us." Luigi stated.

"Oh, I have a feeling they'll never even know it was us." Mario said, giving Luigi a knowing look.

_Meanwhile..._

In Mario's yard, a bucket containing bananas, a yo-yo, a baseball bat, Pokéballs, a Nintendo Wii and two Nintendo DS's was placed near a shrub.

"Hey guys, our stuff's back." Brock cried, running over to the bucket, Ness, Gary and DK following.

"Awesome! Wario and Waluigi'll be pleased as well." Ness said.

Gary's eyes wandered to a piece of paper stuck to the side.

"Hey, there's a note." He told them, bending down and tearing of the note. He read it aloud.

"Dear Friends.

I almost stole what you had and made it my own. I'm very sorry for what I did, but you should know that I am entirely to blame and not Mario and Luigi. They are completely innocent.

Signed,

Ash Ketchum."

Gary stopped reading and looked up, a hateful glare in his eyes.

"Ash..."

In anger, he tore up the note.

"Huh! I can't believe he almost got away with this." Gary cried, thowing the pieces behind him.

"WOW! I'm never talking to that guy again." Brock declared.

"Oh, well. Nobody liked him anyway." Ness admitted.

"(NUH UH!)"

Gary shrugged.

"Oh well, I'm outta here." He said, picking up the bucket and walking off.

"I'm outta here first!" Brock said, turning around and walking in the wrong direction.

"Hey, come back with my stuff!" Ness cried, running after Gary.

-xxxx-

Payne dodged the water coming from the guard. The guard, however, was using it too quick and soon ran out of ammo.

"Oh, crap!"

Payne approached him, snatched off his sunglasses and squirted water in his eyes.

"CRAP!" the guard cried and ran out of the house. Out from the room behind him a short guard with a hat pulled down over his eyes.

"MAX PAYNE SUCKS!"

Payne approached him and held the water pistol to his head.

"MY LIFE SUCKS!"

Payne pulled up the guard's hat and gave his eyes a watering down. He was gone within a few seconds.

"AH! Payne!" said a guard with a mask on. Payne took him down easily. After he ran out, footsteps were heard. Payne went to the railings to see Vercetti with a gun in his hand. A real one.

"Y'know, Max Payne, we're not so different, you and I.

"Tommy chooses one of the worst movie cliché's imaginable. I laugh; 'Ha, ha, ha!'" Payne laughed.

"Hey, maybe we could work out a deal, or something." Vercetti suggested.

"I want to tell him deals are for best buy, but I choose less cheesy words; 'Maybe you can go to hell!'" Payne retorted.

"I guess there's only one way to settle this." Vercetti decided. He raised his gun. In an instant, Payne got out his secret weapon; a splatter gun. He fired it mercilessly. After ten seconds he stopped. He smirked at the sight of Vercetti covered in custard pies.

"Oh, that was fast." Was all he said, before he collapsed.

Payne went down the stairs.

"I try to say something poetic, but nothing comes to mind, other than 'If you can't beat them with strength, beat them with humiliation.'"

Vercetti sat up a bit and wiped some custard off his face.

"You know you talk like an idiot." He insulted.

Payne shot him again, the force of the custard pies causing Vercetti to slump back.

"So I just shoot him instead."

-xxxx-

Mario raised an eyebrow as Payne came out with a splatter gun in his hands. He decided that Vercetti must have received hell from that splatter gun.

"I tell them that the deed is done; 'The deed is done.' And I say nothing as I walk away." Payne finished. He walked away from them without a glance back.

"Well, I'm glad that's over." Mario said to Luigi.

"Me too. Well, what do you want to do now, Mario?" Luigi asked.

"I don't know, but now we have to find another way of getting Snake his money."

"Right!"

-xxxx-

Wario was using Yoshi as a piggyback. He found Snake sitting on the back of an old truck, so he headed there.

"Snake," he said after jumping off Yoshi, "Snake, I'm glad to-wow, you look bad." Wario commented, interrupting what he was originally going to say after seeing the state of his friend.

Snake's hair was greying, and he looked exhausted. He took out a cigarette and put it in his mouth.

"Yeah, what else is new?" he snapped, his voice sounding tired and old.

Wario thought for a moment, before shrugging.

"Well, anyway, we gotta convince Mario to get our powers back."

Snake scoffed.

"No use. Mario has convinced himself they don't matter. Trust me, I tried to get him to listen." He explained.

"You spoke to him about this already?" Wario asked, confused.

"Yeah, but then he stole my chocolates, _ruined my life_, and killed some chick." Snake said.

In the background, DK wailed in despair.

"Wow." Said Wario, shocked.

"Haaa..." murmured Yoshi, scratching his head.

"Well, what do we do now?" Wario demanded.

"You're just going to have to figure it out yourself, Wario. You don't need Mario." Snake told him.

"You know what? You're right. Who needs that lazy, red piece of crap, anyway? I'll a figure out on my own." Wario declared, grinning.

"There you go! That's the spirit!" Snake laughed, but broke off coughing and spluttering.

"You alright?"

"I'm fine!" he insisted, "Just go. Get new kid to help you as well."

Wario nodded.

"Will do, Snake." He said. He jumped on Yoshi's back, leaving Snake to grumble to himself.

-xxxx-

Mario was playing Halo on the Xbox when Luigi interrupted him.

"Hey, Mario. Stop sitting on your butt. I asked you what we should do hours ago." Luigi scolded.

"Why don't you think of something?" Mario retorted.

"No way. You have to come up with something." Luigi said.

"Fine then, let's go to the movies!"

"Great. Sounds good." Luigi replied.

"What shall we see?" Mario asked.

"Hmm, I don't know, you think of something." Luigi said.

Mario threw his arms up in exasperation.

"Why do _I _to think of _everything_?!" he cried.

"Oh, I don't know, usually because when you're not being as lazy as crap, you come up with some good ideas." Luigi replied.

"Yeah, and joining the Mafia wasn't one of them." Said Lucas. He came round the corner with a pizza box in his hands.

"Lucas; when you have an angry old soldier with a gun in his hand demanding $10,000, you don't ask him how the heck you're suppose to get it."

"Good point." Lucas admitted, before taking a slice of his pizza and eating it.

A knock on the door made Mario look up.

"I wonder who that could be?" he asked, before getting up. He went to the door and opened it.

Snake was standing with an furious look on his face.

"Mario!" he shouted.

"AAAAIIIIIIIIEEEEE!" Mario shrieked. This could only end badly.

**End of Chapter: Next Episode – You can't read my poker face.**

**This episode will feature Picture Poker from Super Mario 64 DS/New Super Mario Bros. The chips will be replaced with coins. Each player has 200 coins each; ten gold coins, twenty red coins, ten blue coins and one 100 coin (from New Super Mario Bros 2).**


End file.
